Pirated Shyang

炎热的下午
大家在忙着
明天就是文学营开幕了
肚子有一点饿

还在努力的逃离你的视线
希望你在不经意间注意到我

“拿low fat的吧，可以减肥”
虽然很热，想要喝一百号
拿着不冷的dutch lady low fat
感觉像到了很幸福的北极

piece of shit. actually duno why i start to write this post. jus feel vr angry on a lot of things, but actually i cannot blame anyone or anything. i m the one who choose to come into this. haha, great

a lot ppl jus change, but actually no one change, we jus did not get to know each one deep enough, that’s why.

dis-inhibition is an effect of alcohol. people search from shortcut from taking this. sometimes we need this disinhibition as well, because this world is too complicated, too many things make us inhibited. face will all kinds of tensed situation everyday, some days, we may jus need to get dis inhibited a bit.

for all bitches in this world, please go find ur dog, and stay inside ur small smelly kennel, dun come out simply run, later get knock down by a car. no one will responsible to u, except mbks

如果没有什么特别的事情，我是不会到这边来的
最近真的发现了一个事实，人越大就越多事情要烦
发现越来越难跟别人相处，很不喜欢的人一直缠着自己不放
我也懂很多时候可以不用去管她，但是我做不到啦
不止这样，对一直一来做的决定都开始有了犹豫
有了一些后悔，这样是很不健康的
我很少对自己的决定后悔过，但是最近都开始怀疑自己起来了
开始明白不是这个世界容不下我
是我被这个可怕的世界吞掉了
我真的对每天做，每天追求的东西累了
很累了，真的

我去做狗可能会比较好

please stop chirping in front of me
iz very irritating, maybe other ppl can tahan u
but certainly not me

jip jip jip jip jip

am having terrible luck since early this year.
1st of january i lost my beloved grandfather and have to rush back kuching, and cuz of that is having increase risk for being barred from exam cuz attendance problem. other than that, because of some stupid changes in the system, i was not allowed to register for exam because i din pay tuition fee for current semester, all this stuff suffocates me and yeah, screw up for paediatric posting. fine, nvm.

went KK during CNY, come back with quite irritating acute gastroenteritis which make me sick for the first 2 days of OnG posting, fine nvm, for this i missed a lot of chance to observe delivery. then on the 3rd day, i lost Kembara, and fine, missed more chance to observe delivery, which is essential for exam. and yes, lost a car means i lost my limbs.

and this is not just all.

last nite, my sibu house washing machne rosak, means i have to hand wash my clothes till it is fixed. this is amazing rite? ok and now even small small things go wrong. today when i go macD to buy ice-cream, i ordered 2 sundae, they give me 2 cones. today went Hong Foo, whose food nvr come late or mis-order..they come extremely late to me.

and fine. last nite decide to go ward at midnight to c deliveries. so ask fren to pick me up and when reach there, the ward was empty n we decide to go back to sleep first n come 4am again. n when will reach there 4am, they told me when we left ard 12 jus now, after that got 5-6cases. this is stress.

m i really getting bad luck?
i dun believe in luck.
fuck!!!!!!!!!

i feel very helpless

this is a medical post.

was in paeds last few weeks,
and the most common, n exam-famous-cardiac-case will be the Tetralogy of Fallot.
n during the learning process, i encountered a problem. wic is,
one of the complication of TOF is "cerebral abscess", i not so sure why it actually happen, but from wad i read n understand, it was due to the right to left shunt of the blood wic by pass the pulmonary vasculature. and normally, this pulmonary vasculature/circulation work perfectly as a filter to get rid of all the septic focus which come from systemic venous return. As a result, in TOF, this filtration does not occur and septic focus can go straight up to the brain n cause a septic lesion - cerebral abscess over there.

however, personally, i feel this theory is way too advance and i can hardly accept it, so during a lecture, i consulted one of our "beloved" foreign lecturer,i ask her "why cerebral abscess occur in TOF?" the answer i got was totally difference from wad i understand. the answer is "This is a sequential process, due to secondary polycythemia, then thrombosis, then the clot got infected, abd leads to cerebral abscess." ok, this sounds more reasonable n not so advanced, so i accept it.

and during exam, short case exam, i really got a boy with TOF.

din do really well in examination skill n picking up signs, so i have to do well in discussion to pass, at least. my examiner was Dr Wong, director of hospital sibu, an experience and nice paediatrician, and also our fav Dr Ameeudin, paediatrician from SGH. so they ask me "Why cerebral abscess occur in TOF? tell me the pathophysiology"

"….. …."

i answered "there is actually 2 theories"..then i tell the first theory, the one my lec told me, and the second theory the one i read bout. so i feel he wil be impressed, but they ask me agn, "which theory u tink describe better?"

"… …"

man! i have to answer its the first la rite? so i go "first one"

but they answer me
"No~ itz the second one!"

shit.
next time jus trust urself,
trust wad u have read

now i understand why so many people like this movie.
love is portray in many ways through this movie.
and it was shot at UK, such a nice n romantic place (at least in my imagination it is)

Which story i like most? i like Mark’s.
he loves Juliet, she married with his best friend.
he videotaped the wedding, look at her nicely, quietly.

Mark shows up at Juliet and Peter’s door posing as a carol singer
with
a portable CD player, and uses a series of cardboard signs to tell her
"at Christmas you tell the truth" and "to me you are perfect."

Following the confession, Juliet runs after Mark to give him a
kiss and
a sympathetic look, before returning to Peter. Mark tells himself,

"Enough, enough now,"

"Enough, enough now"
this is the best phrase from this movie.
a lot of times, to love, we have to know wad is enough.

jus to update some emotions. everyone hav a right to be emo.

i got a lot of emotions to update recently,
but i jus duno how to voice it out.
not that i dun have anyone to talk to, jus that i duno how to release out,
this sounds emo haha!

i tink i m going into the stage where i start to dislike anyone, anything around me again. y can this things keep on happening? like everything is lost? but i m listening to coldplay’s everything not lost now. weird.

i bet therez something going wrong with me.
i bet dodo know it.
well, sometimes even myself duno wads wrong n wads right.

i duno wad m i talking.
jack daniel’s + coke is nice, when is the next gathering dude?

just finished my long case examination for surgery posting.
this time not so lucky, i got a pakcik, which is severly ill, which jus admitted a nite before my exam, with severe epigastric pain. On the time of clerking, he is transfusing one pin of blood and with close vital signs monitoring. A defbrib with 24hr-ambulatory ECG is attached to his chest.

and he cannot speak malay,
and i cannot speak iban.

tell me how to clerk?
i clerk tru a nurse,
which help me translate.

how?
u tell me how?
fuck.